(Reviewed by John Heilman)
How To Burn a Rainbow is an honest and well-written tale of the author’s journey through the world of divorce. Author Karl Dunn describes the moment he told his husband he wanted a divorce and then takes the reader on an emotional roller coaster through the legal system and through his own personal recovery from a bad gay marriage.
Dunn perfectly captures the frustration and anger he experiences when he realizes that the legal system requires an equal division of all marital assets, including his house, even though Dunn’s husband contributed little to the marriage. Dunn’s tale, however, is only partially about his divorce. The book details Dunn’s personal evolution from anger, victimhood and, at times, self-absorption toward more self-awareness and enlightenment. Along the way, Dunn shares his journey from San Francisco to Los Angeles to Berlin and the interesting characters who helped him on both his physical and emotional journeys. At times, Dunn’s spiritual path appears a bit cliché—reconnecting with Buddhism, living in a collective, contemplating his inner child. But perhaps these steps are cliches because they seem to work for so many. They certainly helped Dunn achieve a greater sense of self-respect and inner contentment.
As Dunn takes the reader through his journey, it’s easy to wonder how someone so intelligent and ambitious could tolerate a husband who cheated on their honeymoon and was unemployed during much of the marriage. Dunn’s naivete about California’s marital property laws is also surprising. But Dunn’s tolerance of an intolerable spouse and lack of knowledge about protecting his own assets is understandable. Like many gay men, he grew up facing bullying and contempt. His life choices were influenced by his lack of self-worth and a desperate need for the acceptance and love that so many LGBTQI people in his generation were denied in their youth. At times, it is easy to become frustrated by the mistakes Dunn makes along the way, but his deeply personal revelations are so captivating and so compelling, you can’t help but be on Dunn’s side.
